Within all of us lies a spectrum of emotional balance, especially as it is related to our ability to handle life’s circumstances.
On one side of the spectrum, we have our “primal” self. This version of us is instinctive and raw. It’s the self that is most connected to our fight or flight response; to our self-protection and -preservation; to self-guarantee. It is hyper focused on limited functions and is the very part of us that keeps us living. It calls on our body as its primary vehicle and responds quickly to physiological stimulus.
On the other side of the spectrum lies our “poised” self. The one that approaches life with equanimity; with rationality; with deep perspective. It requests patience, compassion and breathing room to do its job. It holds that context is the key variable in decision-making and that long-term success is more meaningful than short-term damage control.
These two sides are both harmonious and discordant, simultaneously. Because of this we unfortunately treat them as enemies; opposing forces which are at battle with one another. Largely, this is because the primal side attends to the fear that comes with stillness and, being the longer-developed part of our makeup, often wins out.
But as we have so evolved, we are now given the opportunity to delay action based on our primal side and to give space to the poised side in hopes that our actions can be more fruitful. This balance has significant influence over every part of our daily experience.
When someone is tailgating you in traffic, do you respond from your primal nature: angry, hostile, scheming? Or do you respond from your poised nature: relaxed, adaptable, mindful?
When you’ve had a long day at work and —upon walking in the door — your partner launches into a heavy conversation, do you respond from your primal nature: irritable, short, defensive? Or do you respond from your poised nature: open, present, connected?
The real question isn’t “Do you always…” but rather, “How often are you one versus the other?”.
On the surface it can seem like we are beholden to our environmental factors to move between primal and poised, but in reality we have much more say.
The vacillation between the two points comes as a result of our psychological flexibility; high psychological flexibility is the opportunity to be present in our lives, in service of our long term vision, which is based in our values, despite whatever it is that life is handing us in the moment. It is knowing how to be in control of the things that we can affect and knowing how to give up attempts at control over the things that we can’t.
This “high psychological flexibility” isn’t a personality trait. It is the result of cultivating six core skill areas (and a few bonus areas, in my opinion). The benefits are not esoteric. It results in lower stress, depression, and anxiety; better sleep; improved relationships; better focus and work performance; and the opportunity to actually enjoy your life.
Teaching you those areas is at the core of our program. We want you to possess the skills to balance your life between primal and poised, choosing what’s best for you and what you really want out of life. We want the best for your mental health as a lawyer.
For more information, please schedule a call at www.lifeoutsidethelaw.com/call-today/